


Still Here

by dearest_sparksandstars



Series: These Are Your Next Steps [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ajan Kloss, Angst, Coruscant, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, New New Republic, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-TRoS, Red 5, Rey Needs A Hug, Spoilers, Tatooine (mentioned), Yavin IV, duh - Freeform, time jumps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21924316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearest_sparksandstars/pseuds/dearest_sparksandstars
Summary: In the aftermath, Rey ponders the results of her actions, both good and bad.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Rey, Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Rey
Series: These Are Your Next Steps [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1585645
Comments: 18
Kudos: 120





	1. Now

**Author's Note:**

> **Spoilers for IX!! ******

Ajan Kloss was quiet when she returned, a peaceful warmth in her stomach as she stepped off the Falcon. She wasn’t sure she’d come back, not after everything that had happened, once fond memories now becoming painful, aching with loss.

It had been a few days since the final battle, and the ghosts of her past still followed her. Ben Solo was no more, a pang of sorrow flooded her that went beyond their sustained connection, their duality. 

In saving her life, he had sacrificed his own, and was finally at peace with the force. That may be a pleasant memory, but it was a ghost that would follow her for the rest of her life. She wouldn’t get to see that future even if she wanted to. 

On the other hand, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to forgive him for all that he’d done to her, and all the pain that he caused her, even if he was being manipulated. _He_ had manipulated her.

She shook the feeling away and focused on the one of belonging. 

By that time, most of their fighters had returned to their home worlds, at least, those who still had one. Of those who remained, many of them were her close friends. 

Finn had gone with General Calrissian and Jannah not long before she had departed herself. She had made him promise to send her updates. What’s more, she had told herself she’d ask to train him when they returned. Rey wasn’t about to let their paths diverge after all they’d been through together. 

She passed command slowly, her gaze falling on Karé. An overwhelming feeling of grief washed over her, but it wasn’t her own. She was unsure if that was the right time to talk to her; the feeling felt extremely personal and it nearly made Rey uncomfortable.

Pushing forward, she came to a stop by Poe Dameron’s X-Wing, Red 5 nearby. The hatch was open, and she furrowed her brow when she spotted the pilot himself, tool in his mouth, his good arm elbow deep in the wiring of the ship. 

“You’re still here?” She huffed, hands behind her back, her new saber hung on her belt. 

He startled, and hit his head hard on the durasteel of the ship. 

“Kriff, Rey,” he grunted, rubbing the back of his head. 

“Sorry,” she winced, stepping forward and offering a hand, which he shook his head at. 

“It’s fine really,” he sighed, peeling off his work gloves and standing in front of her. 

Her breath nearly caught in her chest with how close he was, but the tension faded as she stepped back. 

She bit her lip awkwardly. He smiled encouragingly and she took a deep breath. 

“How did it go?” He asked, genuine intrigue in his tone. 

“Better than I expected. It’s hard to say goodbye,” she trailed off for a moment, peering at her feet, thoughts filled with the faces of Luke and Leia’s ghosts watching over her. “But I think it was a fitting end to their story, in the place where it began for them.”

His gaze was warm and kind, a hint of grief in his eyes too distant to place. 

He shakes himself rubbing his arm where he’d taken the blaster bolt on the Destroyer. 

She studies his uncertain features for a moment.

“...Can I–?” She held a hand out to his arm, and he nodded slowly. Rey hadn’t used this power since Kif Bur, but she didn’t hesitate this time. 

He rolled up his sleeve to reveal the scorched skin that had scabbed over, but didn’t hide the yellowing at the edges. It would get infected if they waited much longer. 

Holding his gaze, she presses her open palm to the wound, rough and dry. He winced, but she placed her other hand on his shoulder to steady him. Closing her eyes, she felt his pulse under her fingers, the Force running through him familiarly. Picturing the skin knitting itself back together, she let the force flow through her and into him. 

He gasped as she pulled away, taking an uncertain step back, dizziness taking over.

“You didn’t answer my question, before,” she sighs, before he can say anything else.

“I’m still here, yes,” he groaned, rubbing a frustrated hand through his dark curls. “Thought I’d be gone by now, but it feels like something’s keeping me here.”

“I know the feeling,” she sighed, blinking slowly. She considered her next words very carefully. “I thought you might have gone with Zorri.”

“Yeah, me too,” he replied. There was conflict in his eyes. “But that life she lives, that’s my past, and now I have a brighter future to look forward to…” he trailed off, as if he meant to say something else but stopped himself.

“Your ‘spice runner’ past,” she snickered, and he groaned. “I never pegged you, damn heroics and all, for the type.”

“Now look who’s talking,” he said with a smile, genuine and familiar. 

“That doesn’t count!” She laughs, the sound unfamiliar as it rises in her throat. 

Sure, they found themselves bickering more often than not, but this had a different feel to it. This was lighthearted and friendly, instead of verging on hostile.

“Listen,” she said finally. “I know we have our differences most of the time, but I’d like to take the chance to… start over maybe? If that’s okay, I mean—”

Oh gods, she was rambling now. 

“Yeah,” he whispered breathlessly. “I’d like that.”

Warmth filled her and a smile spread across her face. 

“Rey Skywalker,” she said, offering him a hand. He raised an eyebrow with a cheeky smile. “Jedi Knight.”

“Poe Dameron,” he responded quickly, taking it, and shaking it firmly. “Hell of a good pilot.”

“I know,” she jabbed, and unexpectedly, he pulled her in for a warm hug. Gingerly, she wrapped her arms around him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, and she nodded, squeezing him tighter.


	2. Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three years later

The Battle of Exegol was a distant, extremely traumatic memory. There were moments where the simplest things would set her off, would rip her from reality and fling her back to that wretched place.

Rey had never told anyone the full extent of what had happened, mostly the fact that she defeated Palpatine, and that Ben Solo had made a sacrifice for her in his last moments. 

The faint wind tossed her brunette waves as she leaned over the railing of the apartment in Coruscant. In the last three years, much had changed. 

A new, more democratic government had been put into place by the hands of Ex-Resistance Command. Rose and Connix were among the ones to take positions as Senators of their home worlds. 

It had been a few weeks, but the last time she’d seen Finn, he’d stopped to take a break from his work in searching old First Order databases for the families of ex-stormtroopers. Jannah had tagged along too, and they were staying back on Kef Bir. 

And here she was, finally finding the courage to continue the Jedi lineage. The sith were gone, for good, she hoped. But that didn’t mean the journey ahead would be without temptation. Rey has tried to convince Finn to learn the ways of the force, but he claimed he wasn’t ready yet, and she trusted his instincts. 

She was expecting Poe Dameron, though, as he’d taken up being an instructor at the New (New) Republic’s flight academy here on Coruscant. The pair had grown closer than they cared to admit, especially since she had been around for a while now. 

Rey has visited the ruins of the Jedi temple here, but would only return to the place if she absolutely needed to. There was so much darkness there: remnants of  
Anakin’s fall, and the touch of her grandfather haunting her. It held so much knowledge and pulsed with the force, but much of it was too painful. 

She stepped back inside as her com link beeped with a notification. 

Her apprentice, Myna, had just arrived at her destination. The Togruta girl wasn’t much younger than Rey was when she’d first arrived at the Resistance a few years ago. Headstrong and witty, it was almost like looking into a mirror at moments. 

She picked up the data pad, and plopped herself of the lush couch.

“Still here?” Came a familiar voice, and she startled. She hadn’t heard the door open, and she grunted, setting the pad back on the side table. 

Poe dropped into the cushion beside her, his hand draped over the back of her spot. 

“Yes,” she looked him in the eyes as he smiled smugly. “I am.”

“I thought you’d gone along with Myna,” he brushed a curl out of her eyes, still smiling. 

“Oh, please, Kes would kill me if I showed up to Life Day without you. We both know I’m the only one who can get you to leave that stupid acadamey.”

“Stupid?” He scrunches his nose. 

“You used to say you would go back to Yavin IV to farm koyo melons with your dad, but here you are, still addicted to flying.” She smiled. “You know, I got Wedge and Hera to take you off the rotation this week.”

_“Hey!”_

“Serves you right,” she grabs his hand and pulls him off the couch. “We’re going home.”

Rey shoved him towards his room to pack his bag, but didn’t follow him, a strange feeling washing over her. 

Once the door closed behind him, Rey turned over her shoulder to see a figure standing in the door to the balcony. The dying light made the blue glow glisten a little brighter, more vivid. He was facing away, dark curls framed on broad shoulders.

“Ben?” She whispered, stepping slowly towards him. 

“You look happy,” his voice echoed in her head. He doesn’t turn to face her. 

“I am,” she sighs. She stood beside him now, but couldn’t bear to look at his face. There was too much left to be said. “I never got to say thank you.”

“You don’t have to,” he trailed off, and she raised her eyes to meet his. “You saved my life, I saved yours.”

She blinked away tears she didn’t know were there, and wrapped her arms around herself. 

He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she ceased her shaking. 

“Rey?” Poe calls from the other room, and they both startle.

“Just a minute!” She calls back, and takes a step away. 

“He makes you happy, doesn’t he?” Ben whispers, a ghost of a smile on his lips. She nodded, and she feels his hand on her cheek. It’s cold and distant. “Don’t let me hold you back.”

“Rey?” Poe called again, this time softer, and right behind her. Ben was gone now, and she took in a shaky breath. She turned to face him. The smile faded from his face when he saw her expression.

He rushed up to her, and placed hands on her shoulders.

She placed her hands over his and guided him to the railing. Rey leaned against him as they looked on to the bustling city. He waited patiently, still holding her hand to reassure her. 

“On Exegol,” she said finally, swelling the knot in her throat. She struggled to find her next words. “There was a moment when I… I was dead.”

He blinked, but only gripped her hand tighter. 

“I would have stayed that way if Ben hadn’t saved me,” she sighed. “And I think I’ve been restraining myself because of him.” When she looks in his eyes, she shares the last bit, unspoken, unable to find the right words. She’s sure that image is enough.

Poe studied her carefully, placing a hand on her cheek, and she leaned into it, warm and real.

“He was an important part of your life, good and bad,” he sighed. There weren’t many occasions when Poe liked to talk about Ben Solo apart from the horrors of the war he’d helped create. “But that time has passed, and it’s okay to move forward.”

The sense of right that grew in the pit of her stomach with his words assured her of that. All of the pain she had felt, the turmoil that had courses through her, she was free of it, and there was nothing to lose. 

Rey’s eyes flickered to his lips, and back to his eyes, as she leaned in slowly.

The door whooshed open, and BB-8 rolled in, quickly followed by D-O. 

They split apart, and Rey bit her lip as she looked down at the droids. 

BB-8 beeped wildly, and Poe knelt in front of him. 

“Yeah, yeah, we’re coming, buddy,” he rubbed the droid’s some affectionately.

“R-Rey,” D-O stuttered. “M-missed… you.”

“I missed you too, Dio,” she sighed, placing her palm on Poe’s shoulder. He stood, and offered her his hand, which she took, and they grabbed their bags before departing for the Falcon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops I’m doing a part three, I think it would’ve gotten too long if I had put them together.
> 
> ( **edit** : I’ve been having problems with my added chapters not showing up on other fics and it happened with this one too. apparently I was forgetting to change the publication date for the chapters. Oops. I actually posted this on Christmas Eve.)


	3. Later (Later)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travel back to Yavin IV for Life Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry belated Christmas!!

When they stepped off the ship into the lush greens of Yavin IV, the forest welcomed her, its singing filling her up to the brim. 

She looked around the clearing, Shara Bey’s A-Wing sitting next to another transport, and a couple of speeders. She furrowed her brow as a familiar presence nudged at her. 

The door to the house opened, and Finn stepped out a smile on his face. She rushed to greet him, and he grabbed her shoulders and swung her around. 

She laughed joyfully as he set her down. 

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Rey said as Poe came to join them, embracing Finn as well.

“Jannah and Rose are here too, they took Myna for a walk, but Connix and Beaumont are inside, and a few of the others are still on their way.”

“You managed to drag Senator Tico from her office?” Poe gasped mockingly.

“The Jedi managed to drag your ass all the way here from Coruscant,” Finn punched him in the shoulder, and Poe grunted. 

“Hey,” he responded through gritted teeth, a hint of a laugh behind it. 

Chewie growled at them to go inside, and they all laughed and continued in. The warmth of the house overwhelmed her, as did the scent of food. 

“Did the rest of my kids finally show up?” Kes called from the kitchen, and when he came out, he smiled wide at her, and it was contagious. “Little Jedi!” 

He rushed forward and pulled her in tight. 

“What am I, bantha fodder?” Poe laughed, but Kes only hugged her tighter, leaving her giggling. 

“Compared to this beautiful, incredible, talented, powerful woman, yes, yes you are,” he kissed the top of her head and finally released her, exchanging her for his son. 

Later, they gather around the table with a bit too much food to eat. 

Rey was sure she’d never get used to having that much food in front of her, but here she was shovelling a yavinese style feast down her throat. Surrounded by her found family, a different kind of joy filling her to the brim.

“When did _that_ happen?” Rose exclaimed pointing at her and Poe’s joined hands on the table. It shakes her from her moment of reflection, and she feels the tip of her ears heat up. “I remember when the two of you used to tear at each other’s throats like rabid Loth-cats.”

“I’d like to know,” Kes mused, raising his eyebrows at Poe. Myna smiles at her knowingly, but Rey sends her a hard glare that wipes the wide smile off her face. That doesn’t stop the girl from giggling.

They separate their hands with a glance at each other. Rey is blushing too hard to say anything else. She swears to the Force in hopes that Poe doesn’t make some smart-aleck comment about it, but it doesn’t come, the pleasant clanking of silverware returning. 

The rest of them laugh it off, but after dinner, Rey stepped out onto the porch, gazing at the Force tree in the courtyard. A brief reprieve from the busyness of the party.

Thunder rumbled in the distance as the rain pitter-pattered on the leaves, giving the blue-green glow of the tree an other-worldly appearance. It’s an odd contrast to the warmth she feels radiating off the people inside, the joyful music, and the enticing conversation. She thinks about how many times she’d come to this place since the war had been finished. 

The first, she had stumbled on it in a moment of panic, and a flash of a woman with dark curls and a kind smile crossed her vision. A feeling of peace instantly came over her as she fell to her knees before the tree. It had a different feel to it than the one on Ach-To, gentler, glowing golden in the force. Vivid and young, as opposed to the blurry and ancient. Luke’s hands were on her shoulders for a moment, and then she was left alone. Knees muddy, she wasn’t sure what had caused her brief panic.

A flash of lightning lit up the sky, and Rey jumped, a far different set of images flashing through her mind: ships falling from the sky, two blue lightsabers heavy in her grip as she pushed against it. 

She collapsed to her knees, life fading away, the faces of Jedi flooding her vision: The likes of Luke Skywalker to a man she now knew as Kanan Jarrus, in full, blinding color. But she blinks, and she’s looking up at Ben Solo, who she can feel slipping away.

A hand comes to her shoulder and she startled out of it, eyes wide, turning to face Poe, who’s eyes looked worried. Her ragged breathing slows, and he waits patiently.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, relaxing into his grip. The words feel heavier on her tongue, tortured even. After all this time, the war still tormented them like a cruel virus. 

“No, it’s okay,” he sighed, reassuring her. It was clear he could see it in her eyes, but said nothing of it. He knew, better than anyone, that there was a time and place to talk about those things. “I snuck up on you.”

She nodded and rested her head against him, turning her eyes back to the tree. Under its branches, a shadow stepped into the light, and Ben Solo nodded at her. 

When she blinked, he was gone, and Rey turned back to Poe was gazing at the tree as if he’d seen a ghost of his own. 

“Poe?” She whispered. 

“Yeah, sunshine?” He sighed, turning to face her, his eyes peaceful and cheerful. He tucked a curl behind her ear like he had before they had departed.

“Thank you,” she kissed his cheek, his stubble brushing her cheek as she pulled back. “For everything.”

His gaze had softened, and his cheeks had gained a rather attractive flush. He licked his lips cautiously and his eyes fell to her lips before coming back up to meet hers. 

She placed both hands on his cheeks, and they rushed forward, meeting each other halfway. Before she knew it, her hands were in his curls, and his in hers. She could barely breathe, heart pounding. 

In an instant, it was like an old wound had healed, and nothing else mattered. Her pain was in the past, but it felt like she was holding the future in her arms, tangible and bright. There was no urgency in it, there wasn’t any need for that anymore. 

Home, that’s what it felt like. 

“Ahem.”

Caught in the act like a pair naughty teenagers. 

They broke apart slowly, Poe barely managing to peel his lips away from hers. She clicks her tongue, and sighs nervously, embarrassed. She finally turned to look at Finn, holding three bottles, who was giving them his signature unimpressed look with a hint of a smirk behind it.

Poe’s arm is still hanging on her waist when he starts, “Finn, buddy–”

Finn holds up a finger to silence him, and hands him the bottle, then one to Rey. 

“I don’t want to know,” he sighs, and Rey scrunches her nose as she laughs, the sound warm in her throat. They turn back to the tree, and in unison, take a long sip of their drinks. 

Rey spews it, and Poe cringes.

“What the hell is that?” Rey grimaces as Poe forces himself to swallow. Finn just laughs. She turns to Poe. “Why does Dad keep these things in his house?”

Poe shrugs and shakes his head, taking her bottle from her and setting it on the ground. 

(She realizes after that she had called Kes Dad, and neither of them batted an eye at it.)

Finn looks her dead in the eye as he takes another sip. 

“Kes doesn’t keep this in his house,” Finn says, looking somewhat proud of himself. “Fresh from a lounge in Cloud City.”

Poe groans, wrapping an arm around her again. “Lando would.”

“Lando would,” Finn agrees, and she just shakes her head. He studies them for a moment. “Rose was right, though, if I hadn’t have stepped in at some point, Poe would probably be dead right now.”

“You don’t think I could’ve taken her?”

They both raise their eyebrows at him, and he groans in submission. 

“Even without a lightsaber, she could destroy you, man,” he pauses. “I’m not sure I would’ve ever guessed you two would end up together back then.”

Rey straightens at that.

_“Back then?”_

“Oh yeah, we’ve been taking bets for a couple years now,” he takes another sip of the drink, still unflinching. “The lot of us owe D’Acy fifty credits. Each.”

She punches Finn in the shoulder, a mock pout on her face, and thunder rumbles in the distance. She doesn’t flinch this time. 

“Well,” Poe sighs, squeezing her arm lightly. “Happy Life Day, my friends.”

“Happy Life Day, boys,” she echoes, kissing his cheek. 

“Happy Life Day,” Finn groans, and they fill the night with laughter. 

Surrounded by love and friends, Rey is glad she’s not alone anymore. It was true, that the war had left its mark on all of them, claiming them as its prisoner a long time ago, but there were means of escape, and all of these people were still alive, in part, because of her. 

Her actions took away important parts of herself, though no entirely her fault. But in addition to that, it gave her a chance at a future, _this_ future, with her friends, no, her family.

She takes Finn’s hand, and rests her head against Poe’s. In that moment, she promises herself never to let this go. 

She was home, and she wouldn’t let anyone take that away from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I rewrote the section after they kissed like five times, and the one I went with I did at like 1:00am sooo I hope it’s okay ;)
> 
> I’m considering writing more of this universe I’m the future. I’d love to explore Rey’s relationship with Myna (her apprentice) who made little appearance in this, as well as Poe’s conflict between the future he thinks he wants and the one he actually does. 
> 
> Considering that I haven’t touched my other big fic in a couple weeks... it’s probably more likely than you think haha.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this little bit, thank you lovelies!
> 
> -Berry

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one of two, the second will include a time jump to three years later. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> -Berry


End file.
